A business owner AT LAST

I have wanted to be a business owner for as long as I could remember...but, for a variety of reasons, I've been too skittish about taking the leap. A few months ago I was putting together a "Putting Your Talent to Work" CJEA workshop. As I usually do, I worked through the exercises that I intended to have in the workshop and I discovered that creating clean, simple and creative websites for small businesses was what I REALLY wanted to do. I am now married to a successful small business owner who has been very patient and gracious with me in this new endeavor of starting Joywell Web Design. Click here to go to my website.

I, AGAIN, have had such amazing results with using these tools. I MUST SHARE THIS WORK. Once I get my web design business off the ground, I will offer a "Putting Your Talent to Work" workshop for those brave souls who are feeling the push to take the leap, but aren't sure what they want to leap into.

Marriage and moving

The wedding was AMAZING!!! After raining for two solid weeks and everyone (except for those who know me particularly well) was sure that the wedding would get rained out. "It's not going to rain, but bring an umbrella if it will make you feel better" I would say. Whadya know, it didn't rain...for the wedding. It rained before the wedding and after the wedding but the wedding (save for the dirt) was dry.

My inner child was singing that day...I was wearing fairy wings after all! Click here to see the photobucket gallery of the wedding pictures my friend Andrew took. It can portray the whimsy far better than my words can.

Soon after the wedding, Jason and I moved in and began renovating our new home and, guess what, I started ANOTHER blog that is documenting the process. Click here to get to the WELLSTEAD blog.

One GREAT thing about our new home is that there is a GIGANTIC workshop in the back where I can host Creative Journal workshops!

My Dear Friend

I found out this morning that my dear friend, Diana Bacher, suddenly passed away in the night. It has not fully settled within me that she is gone...come wedding day I will feel her absence poignantly.

When I entered the Creative Journal Expressive Arts program, Diana seemed more excited than anyone that I was embarking on this adventure and as soon as I returned from the first intensive she immediately became my willing guinea pig. In the months that we worked together, her creativity blossomed (read Diana's Creative Journal adventure here). Since then, she became a full fledged painter... EVERYTHING revolved around her need to express her creativity and she had built up a sizable body of work that was intended to become her first art exhibit.

I am grateful to have known this woman. She was not afraid of evolving way beyond her comfort zone and for that she will always be an inspiration to me.

Five Days

I've been having trouble sleeping with all that's been going on and still yet to happen...at about 3 am the other night I decided to make the best of my awakeness to write out my vows. I'M TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE JASON CRY. Also, he's got his outfit as well as his son's - the ring bearer...it's just like a man to wait till the week before the wedding to get it done:).

It has rained every day for the last week and more rain is scheduled...so the backyard where we are getting married is EXPLODING with life. I'm trying not to freak out about the possibility of rain on our big day, but Jason doesn't seem to be worried. But, if you would, say a prayer that IT WILL NOT RAIN. Thank you.

HOLY COW I'M BUSY

It's nine days till the wedding and I'm feeling that a clone or a robot would really be helpful. Besides the full time job of getting ready for the BIG DAY, I'm wrapping up the McFarland mural project, preparing for the unveiling ceremony, working out details for the McFarland summer mural project - which is a HUGE project to be done in a fraction of the time - and the fundraiser to gather needed supplies. On top of that Jason and I just bought a house 5 days ago... so add paperwork, inspections etc. into the mix. I've concluded that my idle days are officially over. I hit the wall today. Jason is so busy trying to keep up with all the orders coming in at his business that I've been assisting him in getting caught up... (I feel like I'm needing to vent, thank you) ... NOW I KNOW WHAT "THE PROBLEM OF ABUNDANCE" MEANS. So many amazing things are happening at one time that I'm having difficulty soaking any of it in. Poor me.

So back to the mural project... it has been such a spectacular experience that I want to figure out how to do this all the time! I get to do it again on a larger scale in about a month. The McFarland branch YWCA has a 60 foot long wall on the side of the building - which faces the youth garden project - that is BEGGING to be painted... so we are hoping to team up school kids from the area with tenants of a nearby senior center, as well as a handful of community artists to paint a mural with the focus: CULTIVATING COMMUNITY. I'll keep you posted.

As far as the wedding goes, my wings are made as well as Tillie's, the rings have arrived, I'm almost done sparklfying my dress, Tillie's tutu is here, the wedding space is shaping up beautifully...in a whimsically rugged sort of way and the ring pillow has just been made (it's purdy). We still need to get our lisence, Jason and Jesse need to figure out what they are going to wear, I need to write my vows (as does Jason, I'm sure), we need to figure out where all the out-of-town people will be staying, and a whole lot of other things. Oh, and IT WILL NOT RAIN.

About the house... Jason passed by it last Friday morning when he was detoured (or Divinely redirected) from his normal route due to construction. We were taking a tour of it by 2:30 that afternoon and by six that evening our realtor was faxing us the contract which was approved at 8:30 the next morning. It is a total granny house (no offense, Granny) with white aluminum siding and a clothesline in the back yard...as well as a peach tree, a plum tree, two pecan trees and a rasberry vine/bush. The stove in the kitchen is harvest gold and the living room walls are covered with faux wood panelling. HOWEVER, the oak floors are immaculate, the garage has been converted into a den, there is a tiny loft in the house and a humongous workshop out back. The inspector said that we've got a real gem of a house. We don't close until May 15th and I've already got the paint colors and the floor tiles picked. It's a bit early but the decorating seems to be having a calming effect on my current state of FRANTIC.

I'm done writing.

Creative Journal and Learn and Serve

I decided to serve a second year as an Americorps*VISTA in the Learn and Serve program. My function has been to help students and teachers implement service learning projects into their curriculum. Since I bring 12 years of muraling experience with me into this position, it seemed only natural to create murals as our service. THIS IS EASIER SAID THAN DONE. Most of my first year in service was spent groping for ideas to bring the students together in a way that they can effectively collaborate, which we have done (with a modicum of success) from time to time, but it seemed like a coincidence when things happened to work out and had little to do with the plan that I had put into place.

Last September I met with the Volunteer coordinator with the YWCA to see if they would be interested in having student murals grace the walls of one of their local centers. We quickly came up with a multi-school mural project that centered around the following idea: EMBRACING UNITY THROUGH DIVERSITY AND GAINING STRENGTH THROUGH ADVERSITY. After a helluva time of trying to gather willing teachers from various schools to participate and four months after the plan was set into motion, the schools that REALLY committed opened their classrooms up for me to come in and begin the task of ACTUALLY DOING THIS PROJECT. I decided that Creative Journal Expressive Arts was the way to get their creative juices flowing. We started with a reflective activity. I asked the students to journal about the following question: IF YOU HAD NOTHING STANDING IN YOUR WAY OR HOLDING YOU BACK, HOW WOULD YOU USE YOUR HANDS TO UPLIFT YOUR LIFE, YOUR FAMILY'S LIFE, YOUR COMMUNITY, YOUR WORLD?

(One students example of the reflective activity)

After seeing the quality of reflections coming from the students, I decided to not insert my ideas into their creative process. I proceeded as a workshop facilitator, designing exercises that encouraged the sharing of ideas between students and they voted, as a whole, on the elements that they wanted to express...and the ideas that they came up with collectively were far richer than any ideas I had coming into this process. My only function has been to put their ideas together cohesively for them to vote on. The next step is to figure out how to inspire them paint the murals together with openness and mutual respect. I'm sure the CJEA tools will be instrumental in this phase as well.

This has been one of the most educational and enriching experiences that I have been involved with and it has shown me that I want to design a profession where I can help people (families, schools, businesses, churches, etc.) to incorporate the art of collaboration into their lives. We are doing it all the time anyway, so why not be intentional about it.

Lots to say...

Last Christmas I was able to make gifts for my loved ones. I usually pic one person per year do do a BIG gift for. This last year my Dad was the BIG gift recipient. I had been promising that I'd create a painting for him and his wife for years...I'm glad I waited. This is the first painting (above) that I have done with my dominant hand since I'd gone through CJEA training. It is amazing how different my dominant hand paints when it knows, at any time, my left hand can jump in. My right hand doesn't exert the control it once did in creative endeavors and I am pretty pleased about that...so I think I will give my right hand its expression for my next exhibit.

On another creative note, I was FINALLY able to spend some time doing a project that has been in my mind since the fall intensive of 2007 when one of the CJEA participants brought a Soul Collage deck to share. Since then, I've had the urge to give some shape and texture to my 'inner family'. It is shocking how un-visual I am as a visual artist. I can't seem to conjure up an image in my mind. I have to create it in order to SEE it.

(from top right: Higher Self, Inner Child, Fun Gal, Nurturer, Whole Self, Muse, Critic, Protector, Introvert)

This deck has been very helpful when I am having an issue about something and need a certain aspect to speak up and, perhaps, have a dialogue with another aspect. I plan on making another suit of cards that represent 'the nine emotions' from the "Sound of Feelings" CD by Jesse Allan Cooper to be done with the Dancing on Paper exercise.

I Recently came across a book while at Powell's Book Store in Portland entitled: FOCUSING by Eugene T. Gendlin, PH.D. I love how books pop into my life EXACTLY when I need them. This book goes through a six-step process on getting past the mental aspect of a problem and into the 'felt sense' of it...much like Creative Journal Expressive Arts does. I finished the book yesterday and will start reading it again tonight. My goal is to use both of these processes in tandem...somehow. This new tool has been really helpful in getting to the core of an unidentifiable feeling that crops up quite frequently in this new journey I have been on in merging my life with my future husband. I use these tools in random moments when I an wanting to stuff a feeling and I don't have the ability to journal. One such time popped up when I was watching a movie with Jason: HENRY POOLE IS HERE. One scene really hit me in a profound way and I was stuffing down the urge to have a balling session. I can't explain the process, but let's just say something SHIFTED and I feel a bit different for having allowed that process to unfold. I don't know if anyone else will think this is a profound movie, but I highly recommend renting it. (Write me and let me know what you think of it when you see the movie)

Settling in pretty well now

This picture represents, at least symbolically, a typical day in my new life... chaotic and colorful. That sounds just about right. I've heard people say over the years about getting married: they mourn their old life. I always thought that when I finally found my partner I'd be SO DAMN READY that I would gratefully and easily surrender my old, single life to the past. It didn't exactly work that way. Now I know what those people were talking about. MY LIFE IS NOT MY OWN ANY MORE. I had a pretty significant meltdown a few weeks ago about this new reality I find myself in. I get it. My life is not my own anymore, but it has a greater significance now. I am part of a new order. I am involved in the evolution of two beautiful young souls. I am a helpmate just as I now have a helpmate. It's HUGE. I had no idea... and I am probably only grasping at a tiny part of this reality, but if I was instantly illuminated to this MAGNIFICENT WHOLE, I would probably explode. So, I'll be content with receiving it a bite at a time.

On a different note, I was able to do the "Sound of Feelings" exercise with a hundred high school students. It was AWESOME. Also, my Learn and Serve supervisor - Kathy Smith, art teacher at Santa Fe South - got lockers and locks and journals for all of the art students and we will be beginning our Creative Journal altered books soon. WOOHOO.

IT FINALLY HAPPENED

(Creative Journal drawing of my vision of my relationship
with Jason, done during the ice storm back in December)

I'M ENGAGED! Jason proposed to me last Friday evening and I, without hesitation, said YES. I'm spending the week at my apartment, sorting through the eight years of stuff I've accumulated... at least half of which will be sold off. Now that I'm in the midst of this process, I'm freaking out a little bit. Part of me is surprised and another part welcomes it in like an old, dysfunctional friend. I guess it's really not shocking or rare... I'm making a HUGE transition. I've lived in this little apartment for a quarter of my life (which is longer than I have ever lived anywhere before) and now it is about to pass away... it's something akin to a death and I suppose mourning it would be valid and even necessary. Many years ago, a friend of mine told me of his deep mourning over letting go of a bad drug addiction. It made no sense at the time, but I've since come to understand that even the not so very good things, if they are with us for long enough, become our comfort... and leaving them behind leaves us without that sad security. (Phone call break) Lucia just called to congratulate me on my engagement... I now feel much more comfortable with my discomfort. She reminded me: "If you don't feel any fear over great changes, you're not really growing". Oh yeah. All I need to know right now is that God answered my prayer (very specifically, I might add) and all I need to do is move forward and let it blossom. AMEN.

Add another to the pile

I just counted the number of web pages I have:
11 blogspot pages:
1 official website
4 Myspace pages
1 Facebook page

Most of them are scattered throughout this blog or in JOY ENTERPISES.

Since 17 pages is CLEARLY not enough, I added another to the pile. I created a place to put my Creative Journal art, which has been previously spread out over all my other pages. Click here to get there.

One breath at a time

Well, life is smoothing out. The last year has been full of so many changes that I could not find my center. The journaling has helped. I realize that I've been searching for a center that doesn't exist anymore, so I'm seeking a new center.... and it seems to be constantly shifting, like a top. The "Where am I at?" exercise in The Creative Journal has been particularly helpful in uncovering where my balance exists from day to day.

My relationship with Jason is... well, I'm relaxing into it finally. It's been a struggle to accept the fact that such a wonderful and accepting man really loves me. I realize that whatever ideas I've had about what a relationship is supposed to feel like are not necessarily true. I've heard that relationships are hard. Now I understand what that means. For me, it's about being present and available in it... and not believing everything I think. THOUGHTS ARE NOT FACTS. There are alot of old beliefs that I am having to release in order to be present and available. I've had these beliefs for so long that they have become my security... it's alot of crap to wade through. I just need to remember, from moment to moment, where my security really lies.

A New Chapter

I can hardly believe it, but I GRADUATED!!! I've never completed something so huge before... it makes me wonder what else I can do.

Marsha highly recommended that I continue this blog for another year, so I can see and share all of the changes that are yet to happen as a result of learning and applying the Creative Journal method. It was not hard to talk me into it. So here is my first official 'next phase' entry.

The first thing I did as a certified Creative Journal Expressive Arts facilitator was make a website. Click here to see it.

As soon as I got back from Mission, TX, I went to Minneapolis to attend the National Youth Leadership conference, which was AMAZING. I went to some illuminating seminars on reflection tools for service learning, which will really help me in designing a workshop for the teachers at Santa Fe South high school, entitled: "Reflection as an Integral Process of Service-Learning". I also had the great pleasure of seeing Desmond Tutu give a lecture... he is so inspiring!

Things are SWIRLING. I'll share it as it happens.

So, What Now?

On the very day that I posted my last blog entry, love swept into my life... although I did not know it at the time. LOVE is a scary word for me, but it is something I have been journaling about quite a bit. CJEA has certainly opened me up to dreaming bigger than I ever had before, but now that my dreams are coming true I don't really know what to do with them. I very rarely hear this side of things. Lately, with "The Secret" being such a hit, it is now quite popular and acceptable to manifest the life of our dreams... I am beginning to think that a common reaction to people's desires coming to fruition is: OH S%!T, WHAT DO I DO NOW? Dreams are very different from reality. Our dreams are safe... they can be whatever we want them to be. But when they work their way into the world of form, they have to contend with our fears... like: Do I really deserve this? Am I going to drop the ball? How are other people going to react to this? Is this really what I want? When our dreams begin coming true, they unquestionably stir the pot as life is being restructured to accommodate them. It may feel like chaos. We are stepping out of the familiar world and into a space of infinite potential... which, for me, feels like being dumped into the middle of the ocean with three miles below me that I cannot see and all I can imagine are the sharks moving in on the smell of my fear. During the fall intensive, Lucia said something that has helped me immeasurably: CHAOS IS SIMPLY THAT SPACE THAT EXISTS BETWEEN AN OLD ORDER AND A NEW ORDER. This simple statement keeps me moving forward through those moments when my thoughts and feelings are trying to make me run back to the world I know. So I journal. ALOT. And I pray that the fall-out of Love's fruition becomes the fuel I need to grow into the woman that God intends for me to be.

Welp... as I suspected, after I returned from the CJEA training, all of the lovely little seeds I had been tending to have begun sprouting..... FAST. My first art exhibit was a total success. Three paintings already sold before the opening, and another four sold by the end of the night!

While I was at the training, my friend Lauren called to let me know that she met a woman who is wanting to have her art students paint a mural but needed a crew supervisor. So a week after I got back home I set up a meeting to chat with the teacher about the mural project, which sounds AWESOME. Somewhere in the middle of our discussion she mentioned that her school is looking for a VISTA, which is a position obtained through Americorps (click here for more info) where I would work at a school doing, among many other things, Creative Journal Expressive Arts with the students! Both the teacher and the Americorps representative are intrigued by the method. I go in later this week to fill out the remaining paperwork and leave for training in Austin on Monday. I AM SO EXCITED! OH, and the best part is, after a year commitment I will receive an education award that will cover the cost of completing my degree! WOOHOO!

So far, that's it... but that is ALOT. I'll keep you posted.

"My Secret Garden" Art Exhibit

WHEN: Friday, Nov. 16th @ 7pm
WHERE: Sauced on Paseo Dr.

THIS IS MY VERY FIRST ART EXHIBIT!!!!!

Every piece of art in this exhibit was created (at least in part) with my non-dominant hand, which is a major aspect of Creative Journal Expressive Arts. As a result of doing the CJEA method and going through the training program, my creativity has exploded and my style has completely changed. Until I started doing Creative Journal work, I never thought that I had it in me to pull off a show. All I can say is THANK GOD WE EVOLVE.

SHIFT WORKSHOP

ARE YOU FEELING

A SHIFT?

Do you want to learn some
tools to identify and utilize
these intangible stirrings?

Go from FUNK TO FUNTIONAL
with
Creative Journal Expressive Arts

Date: Sunday, November 25th
United Life Spiritual Center
3332 N. Meridian Ave. OKC, OK

Love Offering recommended
R.S.V.P at amandajoy74@hotmail.com

Shifting Latitudes

I'm heading off to Mission tomorrow morning and I am about to jump out of my skin with excitement! I remember my last walk around the grounds at El Rocio soaking in all of the lovely little details... thinking how far away October 27th seemed. Although time flew, the Spring Intensive seems quite distant... so many changes have happened in the space between then and now. I feel like a different person in many ways.

I've been getting down on myself lately, not sure why my external world is not expressing the massive internal shifts that have been happening within me. Although I feel different, I'm still messy and broke and inconsistent.... but I woke up with a strange feeling a few mornings back: this Intensive would bring about as much change as the last one did, but in different ways. I feel like the first half of my time in this program was spent pulling out weeds and planting seeds... and the next half will be about tending to the sprouts that pop up into the world of form. This makes me realize that I still have alot to learn about faith and patience.

On a more practical note, I had my supervised workshop last week and I did quite well for a novice. I am going to be offering this particular workshop again on November 11th at United Life Spiritual Center... It's a SHIFT workshop. I've been hearing quite frequently people saying "I'm feeling a shift and I don't know what it is or what to do with it." This is the first of a three part workshop series meant to help the participant figure out the shape and texture of their shift, and how they envision it manifesting in their lives. I've gotten some great feedback from the participants. E-mail me if you are interested in participating or if you would like me to host this workshop at your venue.

Sleep calls... hopefully it will take me over.

Then there's...

You know, donations are a wonderful thing... but it occures to me that I can offer a service in exchange. I am a painter/muralist, after all (visit my work website here). The art that you see on this page is only one creative style. If you are interested in commissioning a painting, pop me over an e-mail! I must also let you know that I am having an art opening on November 16th at "Sauced" on Paseo. As well as offering large paintings, I will be seeling prints of some of my journal art. All of the sales from this show are going towards my CJEA expenses.

ALOTALOTALOT

My friend John came out and videoed a recent ALTARED BOOK CLUB meet-up and we spent the next few weekends editing it down... and here it is, above.

I've been crazy busy lately trying to get funds together for the upcoming intensive at the end of October that I'll be assisting at. As if I don't have enough to to, I went through crisis training at the YWCA last week to: 1. Do art with the mothers and children at the battered women's shelter, and 2. Be a sexual assault advocate. The latter was not in my plans, but that little voice kept telling me "THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO". Okay. I go in later this week to talk with the volunteer coordinator about how I can incorporate CJEA into their program... namely ALTARED BOOK CLUB.

Also, a few friends and I recently started a group called THE SHIFT COLLECTIVE as a result of us each feeling great shifts happening within us, then realizing that we were not alone in this SHIFT... and we keep hearing people discussing their own shifts. SO now we have a radio show - run by Lauren Zuniga, who I will soon be teaming up with to do some workshops. Click here to get to the SHIFT COLLECTIVE web page.

What else... too much to write out at the moment... except to say: I am struggling to raise the necessary monies to get through the training program, so I will be adding a "DONATE" button to this page for anyone who would feel inspired to sponsor me with a donation of ANY size. This has been a spirit-lead process for me, and spirit suggested that I ask for support. So, there.

ALTARED BOOK CLUB

The OPEN BOOK I've been working on has stirred up the interest of some of folks that have looked through its pages... so, I started a club for anyone interested in creating their own altered book. Click here for more information on the ALTARED BOOK CLUB.

21 Days of Solitude

I'm having difficulty finding words... all of this journaling has facilitated a HUGE shift. I was able to spend three weeks holed up in my home, trying to make sense of these stirrings. Yesterday was the first day I've been able to put some shape and texture to it in my OPEN BOOK:

I'm going to start having regular "Altared Book Club" (yes, ALTAR-ED) get-togethers, where we will do a creative journal activity before playing in our books. E-mail me at amandajoy74@hotmail.com if you are interested in attending.

I had my first Creative Journal workshop a couple of days ago and it was a beautiful success. I have another workshop scheduled for this Sunday. The last open seat has been filled! I am close to meeting my next tuition payment requirement. I am making the goal that the remaining $3250 for tuition and expenses will come from workshops... and any generous spirits who wish to sponsor me in this adventure.

Impromtu Worshop at "United Life"

My friend Lauren invited me to be a part of "Here and Now", a wonderful gathering she is getting off the ground with a handful of other like minded folks at "United Life" church on N.W. 33rd and Meridian in OKC. I am really looking forward to seeing how this gathering evolves. Anyway, I was able to share my experience with Creative Journal Expressive Arts. I invited anyone who was interested in learning more about it to sit with me at my table, which was set up with paper and art supplies. I had a great experience sharing a few CJEA tools with the attendees... and it was a wonderful opportunity to prepare for my first 'official' workshop a few days later.

Okay... lots to say.

First off, I will be having a second Creative Journal workshop on July 29th... and the location has changed for both workshops. The Blue Moon has closed its doors, so Lynda Toney-Bahr has offered her "Art of E-Motion " studio located at 4309 N. Western ave.

Next... doing all of this Creative Journal work has caused a HUGE shift. I feel completely transformed. I tried to sum it up in this OPEN BOOK entry:

(Original photo taken by Paul Medina... I added the dress)

After doing the dual hand exercises in "The Power of Your Other Hand", my art has shifted yet again. When I first started painting with my other hand, my dominant hand kept wanting to take over because it was getting frustrated at the lack of painting skill in my left hand... so I kept on painting until that urge passed. Today my dominant hand wanted to get in on the action and I finally let it. They are working together beautifully:

Below is what the painting looked like a couple of days ago... if you can tell by looking at it, I wasn't in the best mood. What a difference a day (or two) makes... and letting both hands work together.

Open Book

I've been working on a proposal on doing a traveling workshop for young teenagers (hopefully through the OKC Public School System) incorporating CJEA with the journaling style and personal idealogy of Dan Eldon, who's legacy has had a major imact on my life. Click here to see Dan's journals and learn more about this amazing person. Anyway, I thought I should start a journal of my own as an example. I found an old hard cover book and, well... see for your self.

Well...

It looks like all the spaces are filled for my first workshop! If you are interested in attending one then contact me at amandajoy74@hotmail.com and I'll get another one scheduled. To those of you who have tentatively confirmed, let me know if you are able to attend and I will make space.

"Secret Garden" number five

These paintings feel like prayers. I painted this one as I pondered all the space that opened up since my job at the library ended. If you look closely some of the words pop through.

New Adventures

Well, my creative job at the library is done and I'm moving on to unknown adventures. It's really hit me what a wonderful opportunity I had to get to learn how to apply CJEA into a large scale application AND see it in action... and I was able to be a part of a two day staff training program with 40 people that was filled with Creative Journal exercises. Although I did very little facilitating, I was able to observe Lynda guiding a large group through the exercises. Yesterday and today were spent at different sites observing, in action, this curriculum I helped create. It was especially amazing to see a group of twenty children doing "The Sound of Feelings" exercise. I feel VERY FORTUNATE that I was able to have this experience as part of my CJEA training.

Another "Secret Garden" Piece

Something tangible... FINALLY

As some of you know, I've been working at the library assisting Lynda Toney-Bahr (2003 CJEA graduate) in the COME READ WITH ME summer reading program, (which kicks off Monday morning). I've been helping her incorporate Creative Journal into the curriculum. Until now, it's all been fairly intangible and fragmented for me. One of my personal projects has been developing a large puzzle as part of one of the projects. Well, today we had our first day of staff training and the puzzle project was on the agenda. Lynda let me facilitate this project since I put so much effort into its creation. I read a picture book called "Crazy Hair Day" about a boy who mistook the schools 'crazy hair day' for 'picture day'... so he REALLY stood out. I then asked the participants to journal with their non-dominant hand about what made them unique, or about a particular experience that made them stand out. Then they drew, most with their non-dominant hands, whatever they felt like drawing (as a result of the journaling) on the puzzle, before assembling it.

Every child in COME READ WITH ME gets a journal to do the exercises in and write about whatever they feel like. The journals are stored in lock-boxes between the club dates. Below is the journal that Lynda and I created together.... I drew the illustration and she did everything else.

So, in short... HOW LUCKY AM I!

Information Page

I created a Creative Journal Expressive Arts information page... click here to learn more about CJEA and the workshop I've got scheduled.

First NDH commission

I just painted this yesterday outside on Paseo as people walked by and watched me painting awkwardly with my left hand. It is intended for my cousin's first baby's nursery... I thought the baby would prefer abstract. We'll see what the parents think!

Making Up My Future

This came from an exericise in "The Creative Journal"
entitled 'I Wish...' "Making up My Future"

My CJEA family

I just received the pictures from our
closing day photo shoot.Here I am with Dr. Lucia Capacchione,
creator of the Creative Journal Expressive Arts method.

Here is the CJEA spring class posing with
Lucia Capacchione and Marsha Nelson...
sans the solo male, Nate.

This is the entire group that participated in the
spring intensive... as well as Marsha and Lucia

Now we are just being SILLY.

"Secret Garden" Series

The piece above came out of an exercise in
"The Creative Journal" entitled 'Where am I at?'

This piece (above) was my first non-dominant hand painting

This piece was the beginning of this series...
I was not expecting what came out, but then again
I can't expect ANYTHING with Creative Journal.

New Balance

"Contemplating Intangible Things, Like 'Love' and 'Spirit'"
from 'Key Word' exercise in "The Creative Journal"

I had a wonderful conversation with Marsha Nelson (head CJEA supervisor) today... discussing, in part, my need to put the journal down for a bit. I was feeling very conflicted about this, feeling that I was copping out of breaking through this overwhelming wave of FUNK that had come up recently. I'm one to put my armor on and go to battle until the war is won, and I find myself so beaten down and weary at the end I can't enjoy the victory. So I tried something different, which probably would not have occured to me had I not been introduced to Creative Journal. So, Marsha gave me confirmation that it is okay, well warranted, and ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to put the journal down for a while. She mentioned that if someone who is doing this work continues at such an intense pace they are likely to burn out and stop doing the work altogether. I actually had that thought... but I worked through it. Since resuming my journaling, I've made a conscious effort to not be so intense about it. Shit comes up and it has to heal in its own time... fussing over a wound too much can make it worse. Sometimes you just have to put a band-aid over it and LEAVE IT ALONE for a little while.

More Messy Grace

I'm sure Freud would have plenty to say about this series... It feels, to me, that these pieces are about birthing. That is TOTALLY how I am feeling right now. This new sense of... something. It's too new for words. I find myself really missing the safe bubble of the CJEA intensive... all my classmates and the retreat. I feel like I've been pushed out of the womb where my senses were protected and now I'm exposed and way too open for my comfort. I sure wouldn't trade it in for ANYTHING, though.

Back at it...

"Convergence"

I'm not sure what it means or if it's done or if I even like it... I like the idea, though.

Messy Grace Indeed

I had to put the journal down for a week... I'd been journaling so extensively that I really stirred the funk up. It's been interesting just sitting with it. It's not in my nature to do this... I need to examine my funk, dissect it, extract its meaning. I keep going back to the "cracking the egg before its time" analogy I wrote about in "My Random Musings". I don't want to try to 'figure it out too soon, or I'll miss the depth of meaning. Whatever this funk was, it has since worked its way through and out and away and I am exited to get back to my journal.

On a different note, I've had a few very insightful meetings that may help bring some ideas to fruition I've been having about how to apply CJEA. I finally got connected with my mentor which was inspiring. Let's see... what else... I've been invited to do some Creative Journaling in the children's psych ward at a hospital in my neighborhood and I'm getting some good leads on what local organizations would be good to submit proposals to. Grant writers are coming out of the wood work since I've been feeling the need to learn about writing grants. Today I went to a "personal productivity" workshop at the Metro Library. I really liked (and paid close attention to) the workshop leader and I asked if I could contact her to pick her brain about her experiences as a facilitator... she was more than willing. Before I left, I made a copy of the evaluation form that she passed out to add to my collection of stuff to glean insight from.

So, it has definitely NOT been a boring month. I'll post more art very soon!

"Messy Grace" series

I've never created a series before... thanks left hand!

"Look Up, Look In"


"Rising Up Through 18 Layers of Flux"


"Reaching Out Towards a Strange New Sense of Self"

Let's see, since I've been back alot has happened.
1. I grew. I feel grown. Grown-up? I don't know, but I definitely feel different.
2. I've started doing one-on one work with a handful of people. I'm working with one person on a consistent weekly basis and I am VERY pleased with the whole process.
3. My creativity has absolutely exploded.
4. I've started working at the Oklahoma City Metropolitan Library in the Outreach Dept. as a Project Specialist for the 'Come Read With Me' summer program where I am helping write the curriculum using Creative Journal projects and exercises.
5. I am working on some workshop ideas that I plan on doing in the near future. Let me know if you are interested. You can e-mail me at amandajoy74@hotmail.com. Put "Creative Journal" somewhere in the subject line.
6. Things are shifting and growing and dissolving and changing and I have no words yet for these occurrences... the posted non dominant hand drawings express these things, though.