IT FINALLY HAPPENED

(Creative Journal drawing of my vision of my relationship
with Jason, done during the ice storm back in December)

I'M ENGAGED! Jason proposed to me last Friday evening and I, without hesitation, said YES. I'm spending the week at my apartment, sorting through the eight years of stuff I've accumulated... at least half of which will be sold off. Now that I'm in the midst of this process, I'm freaking out a little bit. Part of me is surprised and another part welcomes it in like an old, dysfunctional friend. I guess it's really not shocking or rare... I'm making a HUGE transition. I've lived in this little apartment for a quarter of my life (which is longer than I have ever lived anywhere before) and now it is about to pass away... it's something akin to a death and I suppose mourning it would be valid and even necessary. Many years ago, a friend of mine told me of his deep mourning over letting go of a bad drug addiction. It made no sense at the time, but I've since come to understand that even the not so very good things, if they are with us for long enough, become our comfort... and leaving them behind leaves us without that sad security. (Phone call break) Lucia just called to congratulate me on my engagement... I now feel much more comfortable with my discomfort. She reminded me: "If you don't feel any fear over great changes, you're not really growing". Oh yeah. All I need to know right now is that God answered my prayer (very specifically, I might add) and all I need to do is move forward and let it blossom. AMEN.