Well...

It looks like all the spaces are filled for my first workshop! If you are interested in attending one then contact me at amandajoy74@hotmail.com and I'll get another one scheduled. To those of you who have tentatively confirmed, let me know if you are able to attend and I will make space.

"Secret Garden" number five

These paintings feel like prayers. I painted this one as I pondered all the space that opened up since my job at the library ended. If you look closely some of the words pop through.

New Adventures

Well, my creative job at the library is done and I'm moving on to unknown adventures. It's really hit me what a wonderful opportunity I had to get to learn how to apply CJEA into a large scale application AND see it in action... and I was able to be a part of a two day staff training program with 40 people that was filled with Creative Journal exercises. Although I did very little facilitating, I was able to observe Lynda guiding a large group through the exercises. Yesterday and today were spent at different sites observing, in action, this curriculum I helped create. It was especially amazing to see a group of twenty children doing "The Sound of Feelings" exercise. I feel VERY FORTUNATE that I was able to have this experience as part of my CJEA training.

Another "Secret Garden" Piece

Something tangible... FINALLY

As some of you know, I've been working at the library assisting Lynda Toney-Bahr (2003 CJEA graduate) in the COME READ WITH ME summer reading program, (which kicks off Monday morning). I've been helping her incorporate Creative Journal into the curriculum. Until now, it's all been fairly intangible and fragmented for me. One of my personal projects has been developing a large puzzle as part of one of the projects. Well, today we had our first day of staff training and the puzzle project was on the agenda. Lynda let me facilitate this project since I put so much effort into its creation. I read a picture book called "Crazy Hair Day" about a boy who mistook the schools 'crazy hair day' for 'picture day'... so he REALLY stood out. I then asked the participants to journal with their non-dominant hand about what made them unique, or about a particular experience that made them stand out. Then they drew, most with their non-dominant hands, whatever they felt like drawing (as a result of the journaling) on the puzzle, before assembling it.

Every child in COME READ WITH ME gets a journal to do the exercises in and write about whatever they feel like. The journals are stored in lock-boxes between the club dates. Below is the journal that Lynda and I created together.... I drew the illustration and she did everything else.

So, in short... HOW LUCKY AM I!

Information Page

I created a Creative Journal Expressive Arts information page... click here to learn more about CJEA and the workshop I've got scheduled.

First NDH commission

I just painted this yesterday outside on Paseo as people walked by and watched me painting awkwardly with my left hand. It is intended for my cousin's first baby's nursery... I thought the baby would prefer abstract. We'll see what the parents think!

Making Up My Future

This came from an exericise in "The Creative Journal"
entitled 'I Wish...' "Making up My Future"

My CJEA family

I just received the pictures from our
closing day photo shoot.Here I am with Dr. Lucia Capacchione,
creator of the Creative Journal Expressive Arts method.

Here is the CJEA spring class posing with
Lucia Capacchione and Marsha Nelson...
sans the solo male, Nate.

This is the entire group that participated in the
spring intensive... as well as Marsha and Lucia

Now we are just being SILLY.

"Secret Garden" Series

The piece above came out of an exercise in
"The Creative Journal" entitled 'Where am I at?'

This piece (above) was my first non-dominant hand painting

This piece was the beginning of this series...
I was not expecting what came out, but then again
I can't expect ANYTHING with Creative Journal.

New Balance

"Contemplating Intangible Things, Like 'Love' and 'Spirit'"
from 'Key Word' exercise in "The Creative Journal"

I had a wonderful conversation with Marsha Nelson (head CJEA supervisor) today... discussing, in part, my need to put the journal down for a bit. I was feeling very conflicted about this, feeling that I was copping out of breaking through this overwhelming wave of FUNK that had come up recently. I'm one to put my armor on and go to battle until the war is won, and I find myself so beaten down and weary at the end I can't enjoy the victory. So I tried something different, which probably would not have occured to me had I not been introduced to Creative Journal. So, Marsha gave me confirmation that it is okay, well warranted, and ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY to put the journal down for a while. She mentioned that if someone who is doing this work continues at such an intense pace they are likely to burn out and stop doing the work altogether. I actually had that thought... but I worked through it. Since resuming my journaling, I've made a conscious effort to not be so intense about it. Shit comes up and it has to heal in its own time... fussing over a wound too much can make it worse. Sometimes you just have to put a band-aid over it and LEAVE IT ALONE for a little while.

More Messy Grace

I'm sure Freud would have plenty to say about this series... It feels, to me, that these pieces are about birthing. That is TOTALLY how I am feeling right now. This new sense of... something. It's too new for words. I find myself really missing the safe bubble of the CJEA intensive... all my classmates and the retreat. I feel like I've been pushed out of the womb where my senses were protected and now I'm exposed and way too open for my comfort. I sure wouldn't trade it in for ANYTHING, though.

Back at it...

"Convergence"

I'm not sure what it means or if it's done or if I even like it... I like the idea, though.

Messy Grace Indeed

I had to put the journal down for a week... I'd been journaling so extensively that I really stirred the funk up. It's been interesting just sitting with it. It's not in my nature to do this... I need to examine my funk, dissect it, extract its meaning. I keep going back to the "cracking the egg before its time" analogy I wrote about in "My Random Musings". I don't want to try to 'figure it out too soon, or I'll miss the depth of meaning. Whatever this funk was, it has since worked its way through and out and away and I am exited to get back to my journal.

On a different note, I've had a few very insightful meetings that may help bring some ideas to fruition I've been having about how to apply CJEA. I finally got connected with my mentor which was inspiring. Let's see... what else... I've been invited to do some Creative Journaling in the children's psych ward at a hospital in my neighborhood and I'm getting some good leads on what local organizations would be good to submit proposals to. Grant writers are coming out of the wood work since I've been feeling the need to learn about writing grants. Today I went to a "personal productivity" workshop at the Metro Library. I really liked (and paid close attention to) the workshop leader and I asked if I could contact her to pick her brain about her experiences as a facilitator... she was more than willing. Before I left, I made a copy of the evaluation form that she passed out to add to my collection of stuff to glean insight from.

So, it has definitely NOT been a boring month. I'll post more art very soon!

"Messy Grace" series

I've never created a series before... thanks left hand!

"Look Up, Look In"


"Rising Up Through 18 Layers of Flux"


"Reaching Out Towards a Strange New Sense of Self"

Let's see, since I've been back alot has happened.
1. I grew. I feel grown. Grown-up? I don't know, but I definitely feel different.
2. I've started doing one-on one work with a handful of people. I'm working with one person on a consistent weekly basis and I am VERY pleased with the whole process.
3. My creativity has absolutely exploded.
4. I've started working at the Oklahoma City Metropolitan Library in the Outreach Dept. as a Project Specialist for the 'Come Read With Me' summer program where I am helping write the curriculum using Creative Journal projects and exercises.
5. I am working on some workshop ideas that I plan on doing in the near future. Let me know if you are interested. You can e-mail me at amandajoy74@hotmail.com. Put "Creative Journal" somewhere in the subject line.
6. Things are shifting and growing and dissolving and changing and I have no words yet for these occurrences... the posted non dominant hand drawings express these things, though.

Creative Tsunami

"Labyrinth at El Rocio"


Dancing on paper to Joni Mitchell's "Turbulent Indigo"


"Secret Treasure"


"Moving Towards Our Destinies"


"Reaching Out on Faith, Not Facts"

I'm still soaking in everything I learned... I've been journaling and drawing like never before... so much so that I have scheduled my VERY FIRST ART EXHIBIT for October's First Friday Paseo Gallery Walk at Blue Moon on Paseo!!! Here are some of the Non-Dominant Hand journal drawings I've done (in chronological order).

I'm Home

My brain is too full to start trying to share the experience yet,but here is a sketch from my train ride from San Antonio...

(added 5/29/07) If a memory gets too far away before I recount it, chances are that I'll let it slip away... and the trip home was too AMAZING not to share. If you click here you can read my account of the odd and amazing encounters in the space between Mission, TX and Oklahoma City.

This Time Tomorrow...

... I'll be in Mission, Texas. My bags are packed. All of my tickets are bought. My alarm is set for dark-thirty. I have been so busy getting jobs wrapped up and checking off the next thing on my list that I have not had time to get too wrapped up in anticipation. I can only hope that I get what I need out of this experience. So far, I've gotten EVERYTHING I need. I am financially covered, with a little left over to blow on a thing or two I don't need... and a thimble for my Granny. The thing I am most exited about is the train ride home... I only packed a carry-on so the trip back wouldn't be too difficult, but I tucked an extra bag in my pack in case I pick up some cool stuff while I was in Mexico. I'm taking my camera and a sketch book to record the trip. I'll post 'em when I return... and hopefully I will have some time to write while I'm there. Send me some good vibes, please... WOOHOO!

CLOSE...

Well, I mailed off the first installment for the beginning of the training program. As of two weeks ago, the amount of money I needed to send seemed impossible to save and collect... but I've been watching "The Secret" ALOT lately and it occurs to me that I just needed a reminder that I ALWAYS GET WHAT I NEED. It is true. Why do I forget so easily? As a result of remembering and applying the laws of attraction I have had much support from friends and family and I have more work coming in than I can do on my own and I've had to hire an assistant. I don't see getting a day off before leaving for Mission.... but I got what I asked for, and not a moment too soon. WHEW. I still have more to save, but it is not more than I can bring to me with prayer, gratitude and hard work.

REACTING OR RESPONDING

Nothing much has happened since getting my plane tickets. I have, however, been applying what I know of the Creative Journal method in my own journaling... and WHOAH, this is some pretty amazing stuff. I am getting more and more exited about going through and completing the training so I can begin to share these tools.

Most people (myself included) just don't know how to weed through the mess that the past leaves behind without getting stuck in it. Most people think if it's left in the past, everything will be okay, but I don't think it works that way. Every past experience has a hand in building our present character, for better or worse. In this way, we carry the past with us. I've begun asking myself, in certain situations: AM I REACTING TO THE PAST OR RESPONDING TO THE PRESENT? This is my jumping off point. Very illuminating, I think.

It's Getting Solid

I just bought my airline tickets. My friend Lynda just bought hers. This will be the first time since I was eight years old that I haven't flown alone. I remember being handed off from one flight attendant to the next when I was six, flying alone down to Florida to visit my father. I felt independent and scared and exited... much like I do now.

It's looking like a patchwork adventure

I've been trying to figure out my itinerary, which is more challenging than I thought it would be. I've come to learn that I'm not the type of person who just books a flight. I'll search for weeks and spend endless hours looking for the best deal. I think I found it. Although it is by no means efficient and is only a few bucks cheaper than the best deal I could find for the simple route, the adventure factor can't be beat.

So here goes... I will be flying down to Mission TX with my friend Lynda, who introduced me to the training program and is going as well for a refresher course. I will not, however, be flying back with her. The week long "intensive" is going to be INTENSE and I know this much about myself: I'm gonna need some time to decompress. My return from Amsterdam a few years back was a complete shock to my system and not at all pleasant. With that experience under my belt, I decided to take the slowest way back I can think of... other than walking.

So, the plan is that I'll take the Greyhound bus from Mission to San Antonio, spend the night in a youth hostel, then catch the early train and roll into OKC around 10 pm. THIRTY THREE HOURS. I think that'll do it... and I'll get to experience a bunch of firsts. I've never taken a bus ride that's longer than an hour, I've never ridden on a real train, I've never stayed in an American youth hostel and I've never been to San Antonio. Hopefully I'll be in my right mind to enjoy all of this.

I'll start booking tomorrow... we'll see if my plan becomes a reality.

I'm not an island... I forget

I've spent the day working on my sponsorship letter, which has been a challenge. I'm grateful that I've been raised to be self-supporting but the flip side is that I have a difficult time asking for help... especially financial help. A recent conversation with my father helped me accept the idea of receiving support. He has been raising money for the art gallery/museum he's affiliated with in his small Vermont town. He said with a new-to-me assurance "Just ASK. The people who love you want to see you accomplish your dreams." I forget that fact when I get so involved in the details of how I am going to accomplish something. I think in terms of 'how much extra work am I going to need to rustle up in order to make 'such and such' happen. I forget that I am not an island. The "strong, independent woman" mentality creates walls, I have been discovering.

The ability to receive is something I've been pondering recently. I find it odd at how difficult it is, at times, to receive compliments, guidance and support in all its variety. Why is it sometimes so hard to accept blessings? Am I the only one that feels this way? Anyway, I am sure that this is one area I will be working on throughout this process. I've got a feeling that I will be receiving some surprising blessings of all sorts and I'll do the best I can at soaking them in and saying thank you without following it with an "Oh that old thing" sort of statement. Cheers to that!

Click here to view my sponsorship letter.

THE ADVENTURE BEGINS!

I found out this morning that I've been accepted into the Creative Journal Expressive Arts training program today. I am INCREDIBLY exited. I feel like this is about to change the course of my life. Up to this point I've just been going with the flow of life, and now I've been given oars to steer with. I have no idea where this experience will be leading me... and although I am exited, I'm also a bit scared. Uncharted adventures make me nervous... but looking back, all of my favorite memories begin this way. So, I will be sharing with you these adventures as they happen. Thank you for your support in this journey.

Amanda Joy Hogue